Are You Ready for True Love?

People enter relationships for different reasons but until you are happy as single, on your own, you will not be happy in a relationship either. Those who tasted it, say that loneliness in two is much worse than being alone by yourself!
Are You Ready for True Love?
"Learning to love takes a lifetime, and it’s not for the spiritually asthmatic. I often wondered why I wasn’t ready earlier for my true love. The truth was, I needed to make God my truer love first. I thought he was, but it took years of training to help me wake up to a few crucial realities about being satisfied in Christ. He stretched my endurance because he knew I could have the marriage I longed for only when I found my wholeness in a relationship with him." Erin Keeley Marshall
This is a truth that is often times ignored, indeed, marrying or being in a relationship just because you feel miserable alone, is not a good enough reason. Think about it, if you are not happy alone, do you think that another human being can bring in your life the happiness you dream of?

What if a desperate guy/girl would want to depend on you for his/her happiness, wouldn’t that be too much of a load for you? Even if you might not realize the pressure you’d have to live with, after a while it is suffocating and you just want a break!

That’s why, before entering a serious relationship, you need to learn to be happy on your own. If you are happy on your own, you maximize your chances of being happy in a relationship.

It is a lie to think that you cannot be content unless you are in a relationship. To be in love with the "in-love concept" is very different from being in love with a certain individual. Try to see if your motivation to be in that relationship is not only a circumstantial one like "all my friends have someone" or "I hate being alone" or any other reason except really admiring that person you want to be with.

But how can someone be happy alone?

I think we should all be grateful for the time we get to spend out of the bond of a certain relationship; this is a time you can use for discovering yourself, to truly know yourself, to identify more clearly what your desires are concerning your future mate, your purpose in life, God’s plan for your life.

A crucial part of the process is to use this time in your benefit, that is to become yourself someone that others might want to be with; this involves the polishing of your character, smoothing those areas where you tend to be sharp, learning how to deal in situations where you seem to lose control. Now that I have mentioned control, keep in mind that while it is good to know what you want and where you stand, controlling others, namely your partner, will not lead to positive long term results.

For instance, if you tend to dominate, learn how to tame your dominance by listening to the other’s opinions, really weighing what they have to say. As you might have noticed and as history has proven it over and over again, dictators have fallen head first! You surely don’t want to be a dictator…I hope; however the consequences of a dominant behavior are disastrous.

Also be realistic, there is no such a thing like the perfect man or the perfect woman, perfect for you indeed is a different thing. If there are flows that keep you away from certain potential partners, try to differentiate correctly between a noble character and a less important defect, you know, all people have them and that includes you and I.

The most important thing to realize during your time alone is that God loves you for who you are – even if He doesn’t want you to remain at the same level. God wants to give you a great love story, greater than you can ever imagine! A God that can do everything, a God Who loves you intensely and a God Who is infinitely wiser than you are, will surely work behind the scenes to give you the best partner there is for you. Ask Him! Talk to Him about it!

Some people say "well, if I let God choose my partner, He will give me the most boring/dull mate." It takes a lot of naivety to say so and this clearly shows that a person who believes like that, does not really know God.

No, God will give you the wisdom to choose the right one and that right one to choose you as well, yet God wants you to build a home together, not to destroy one another. It takes a diamond to cut a diamond, and in the process of becoming polished, God might and actually is likely to use your partner but God also knows when to put the two of you together! First He has to remove some sediments…or impurities, so that you would not hurt each other.

However, wait actively and use your time to learn to become the best version of yourself, be happy for who you are!

By Claudia Miclaus
Published: 7/19/2008