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Are You Ready for True Love?

People enter relationships for different reasons but until you are happy as single, on your own, you will not be happy in a relationship either. Those who tasted it, say that loneliness in two is much worse than being alone by yourself!
Are You Ready for True Love?
"Learning to love takes a lifetime, and it’s not for the spiritually asthmatic. I often wondered why I wasn’t ready earlier for my true love. The truth was, I needed to make God my truer love first. I thought he was, but it took years of training to help me wake up to a few crucial realities about being satisfied in Christ. He stretched my endurance because he knew I could have the marriage I longed for only when I found my wholeness in a relationship with him." Erin Keeley Marshall
This is a truth that is often times ignored, indeed, marrying or being in a relationship just because you feel miserable alone, is not a good enough reason. Think about it, if you are not happy alone, do you think that another human being can bring in your life the happiness you dream of?

What if a desperate guy/girl would want to depend on you for his/her happiness, wouldn’t that be too much of a load for you? Even if you might not realize the pressure you’d have to live with, after a while it is suffocating and you just want a break!

That’s why, before entering a serious relationship, you need to learn to be happy on your own. If you are happy on your own, you maximize your chances of being happy in a relationship.

It is a lie to think that you cannot be content unless you are in a relationship. To be in love with the "in-love concept" is very different from being in love with a certain individual. Try to see if your motivation to be in that relationship is not only a circumstantial one like "all my friends have someone" or "I hate being alone" or any other reason except really admiring that person you want to be with.

But how can someone be happy alone?

I think we should all be grateful for the time we get to spend out of the bond of a certain relationship; this is a time you can use for discovering yourself, to truly know yourself, to identify more clearly what your desires are concerning your future mate, your purpose in life, God’s plan for your life.

A crucial part of the process is to use this time in your benefit, that is to become yourself someone that others might want to be with; this involves the polishing of your character, smoothing those areas where you tend to be sharp, learning how to deal in situations where you seem to lose control. Now that I have mentioned control, keep in mind that while it is good to know what you want and where you stand, controlling others, namely your partner, will not lead to positive long term results.

For instance, if you tend to dominate, learn how to tame your dominance by listening to the other’s opinions, really weighing what they have to say. As you might have noticed and as history has proven it over and over again, dictators have fallen head first! You surely don’t want to be a dictator…I hope; however the consequences of a dominant behavior are disastrous.

Also be realistic, there is no such a thing like the perfect man or the perfect woman, perfect for you indeed is a different thing. If there are flows that keep you away from certain potential partners, try to differentiate correctly between a noble character and a less important defect, you know, all people have them and that includes you and I.

The most important thing to realize during your time alone is that God loves you for who you are – even if He doesn’t want you to remain at the same level. God wants to give you a great love story, greater than you can ever imagine! A God that can do everything, a God Who loves you intensely and a God Who is infinitely wiser than you are, will surely work behind the scenes to give you the best partner there is for you. Ask Him! Talk to Him about it!

Some people say "well, if I let God choose my partner, He will give me the most boring/dull mate." It takes a lot of naivety to say so and this clearly shows that a person who believes like that, does not really know God.

No, God will give you the wisdom to choose the right one and that right one to choose you as well, yet God wants you to build a home together, not to destroy one another. It takes a diamond to cut a diamond, and in the process of becoming polished, God might and actually is likely to use your partner but God also knows when to put the two of you together! First He has to remove some sediments…or impurities, so that you would not hurt each other.

However, wait actively and use your time to learn to become the best version of yourself, be happy for who you are!

By Claudia Miclaus
Published: 7/19/2008

"8 Simple Rules"

ABC’s Dilemma

ABC’s sitcom 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter is in limbo since the sudden death of its star, John Ritter, last week.
Network execs face a hard decision after losing the star of their show shortly before its sophomore season was set to air on September 23. The death of Ritter left a huge void since the show was basically built around him as the bumbling father of two teenage daughters. The execs are now left to figure out the future of the show, which seemed to be one of the few favorable shows in the fall lineup, and if they should even continue to air the show.

The second season has been postponed and filming has halted as the cast and crew gathered together on Friday during the normal call time to remember Ritter. Family and friends attended a small funeral for Ritter on Monday. Reportedly producers were too shaken up to comment on the future of the show last week, but some suspect they will most likely revamp the show rather than discard it. Some possible ideas could be to center the show on co-star Katey Sagal, who plays Ritter’s wife, or to find a new male actor to try to fill the "father figure" role left by Ritter. Another possibility being talked about would be to have another popular "70’s era icon" to play the brother of Ritter’s character.’

Whatever the network decides, it won’t be an easy decision. Especially deciding what to do with his character. From a comedic standpoint, it would be tough to have his character die on the show, yet how can they explain his absence forever? Shows that have suffered the unexpected loss of an essential player never seemed to be able to make it in the past. The future of the show remains up in the air, but the fact of the matter is that John Ritter will be missed.

By Buzzle Staff and Agencies
Published: 9/17/2003

Jane Austen's Guide to Dating


For two hundred years Jane Austen's witty, perceptive, and romantic books have delighted millions of readers. "Jane Austen's Guide to Dating" is a pithy book of concrete advice and strategies that show how honesty, self-awareness, and forthrightness do win the right man and weed out the losers, playboys, and toxic flirts.
Jane Austen's Guide to Dating
By Lauren Henderson

Published by Hyperion

January 2005; $12.00US/$17.00CAN; 1-4013-0117-7

Which Jane Austen character are you most like? Complete the quiz and find your romantic match!

  • If you're a lively Lizzie Bennet in love with a flirty Frank Churchill, does your relationship stand a chance?

  • Can a playboy like Mr. Wickham ever settle down with just one woman?

  • Are you a cynical Mary Crawford who needs to reform her ways?

  • And how did the shy Anne Elliot find the confidence to snag her man?


Navigate the modern dating scene with the wit and wisdom of Jane Austen -- inspired by Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, and her other beloved novels:

Do:
Choose someone who brings out the best in you

Don't: Be fooled by flattery

Do: Find someone who makes you laugh

Don't: Use humor as a defense

Do: Learn to trust yourself

Don't: Settle!

***

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

--Jane Austen,

Pride and Prejudice

For two hundred years Jane Austen's witty, perceptive, and romantic books have delighted millions of readers. Inspired by Austen's acute observations of the hits and near-misses of love, Lauren Henderson has created Jane Austen's Guide to Dating to bring Austen's Regency wisdom into a twenty-first-century perspective, complete with very modern lists of do's and don'ts.

Jane Austen's Guide to Dating is a pithy book of concrete advice and strategies that show how honesty, self-awareness, and forthrightness do win the right man and weed out the losers, playboys, and toxic flirts. Offering an approach to dating that will never make you act against your own best instincts, Jane Austen's Guide to Dating includes insightful personality quizzes that reveal which Jane Austen character you -- and your love interest -- most resemble, and will help you find answers to your most pressing dating questions.

The only dating guide based on stories that have truly stood the test of time, Jane Austen's Guide to Dating uses both wit and charm to help readers overcome the nonsense and find the sense (and sensibility) to succeed in a lasting relationship. No need to have read Jane Austen, either -- Jane Austen's Guide to Dating summarizes all the love stories in the books so you can dive right into the benefits of her great advice. Fans of Jane Austen and newcomers to her novels alike will delight in this fun, fresh, and audacious guide.

Author

Lauren Henderson
is a founding voice of the "tart noir" mystery genre and is the author of numerous novels, including the Sam Jones detective series and three romantic comedies of modern love and manners: My Lurid Past, Don't Even Think About It, and Exes Anonymous. She was raised in London, educated at Cambridge, where she wrote her dissertation on courtship rituals in Jane Austen, and currently resides in New York, where she is happily dating a Henry Tilney.

Excerpt

The following is an excerpt from the book Jane Austen's Guide to Dating

by Lauren Henderson


Published by Hyperion; January 2005; $12.00US/$17.00CAN; 1-4013-0117-7

Copyright © 2005 Lauren Henderson

Kitty and Lydia Bennet

"From all I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country."

--Pride and Prejudice

Kitty and Lydia Bennet, the two youngest sisters from Pride and Prejudice, are the wildest, craziest flirts that Jane Austen ever created. They're mad for any man in uniform -- "they could talk of nothing but officers," Austen writes -- and spend all their free time in the village where the local militia is stationed, trying to meet as many soldiers as possible. Their behavior is so obvious and embarrassing that Mr. Darcy cites it, along with Mrs. Bennet's awful pushy manners, as a reason for his dissuading Bingley from proposing to Jane: "a total want of propriety," he calls it. And he has a point. When Lydia is invited to Brighton, a seaside resort, by the wife of a colonel in the regiment, she imagines herself "seated beneath a tent, tenderly flirting with at least six officers at once."

Elizabeth is all too aware of how badly Kitty and Lydia behave. She even warns her father that if he doesn't rein them in now, Lydia will "be the most determined flirt that ever made herself and her family ridiculous. A flirt too, in the worst and meanest degree of flirtation; without any attraction beyond youth and a tolerable person; and from the ignorance and emptiness of her mind, wholly unable to ward off any portion of that universal contempt which her rage for admiration will excite. In this danger Kitty is also comprehended. She will follow wherever Lydia leads. Vain, ignorant, idle and absolutely uncontrolled!"

Elizabeth, as so often, is quite right. Lydia's complete inability to control her desperate need for attention leads her to run away with Wickham, a charming, unprincipled rake who has no intention of marrying her. Lydia would have been ruined for life if Mr. Darcy, out of love for Elizabeth, hadn't stepped in and bribed Wickham to make an honest woman of Lydia.

Lesson to be Learned

Self-Control


What Not to Do: Don't Throw Yourself at Men

Lydia and Kitty make idiots of themselves because they throw themselves at any vaguely good-looking officer in a red coat. They are indiscriminate; they have no self-control, no ability to pause and sum up the character of the latest man they have a crush on. Like them, Jennifer has a new crush every few weeks. She's barely met a man at a party before she's ringing up all her friends, telling them how wonderful he is and how right they are for each other. Jennifer -- much to the envy of some of her friends -- has no trouble meeting men. She's very attractive and seems a little vulnerable, and this combination means that men are initially very interested in her. But the romances always fizzle. Jennifer is so desperate to be in a relationship that she ignores all the warning signs. Her friends try to warn her, but to no avail. One man was rude to her and treated her badly; one insisted that she always come over to his place, and would never visit her apartment; one was so close to his ex-girlfriend that he would often suggest that he, Jennifer, and the ex all go out together in the evenings. Jennifer's friends pointed all these flaws out to her, but she wouldn't listen, and she still won't. It's never Jennifer who breaks up with the men, no matter how badly things are going; she's always the one to be dumped.

Jennifer simply throws herself at any available and eligible man, and, because she's so attractive, the men will catch her for a while, before chucking her away again. She has no self-control whatsoever when it comes to relationships. Although she complains about relationships going badly, she won't pause for the few minutes it would take to do the math and come to the conclusion that a man who's not treating her well isn't right for her. It's got to the point that her friends roll their eyes whenever Jennifer calls them to recount how she's met a new man. In the last year, she's dated at least ten men, and it hasn't worked out with any of them. It's as if Jennifer just doesn't factor herself into the equation -- her own likes and dislikes, her own need to be treated well. Her obsessive need to be in a relationship makes her ignore a more important, basic need -- to be treated well. It really seems as if Jennifer is incapable of saying no to a man: No, I don't want to go out with you and your ex-girlfriend. No, I don't want to come round to your place again tonight, when you never come round to mine. No, I don't want to see you anymore.

Not all of Jennifer's boyfriends treat her badly; some are nice guys, looking for something serious, who nevertheless are quickly put off by the overeagerness with which she rushes into a relationship. Remember the "Do" from Chapter One, Enjoy the moment? It's the perfect principle for Jennifer, but she doesn't have enough self-control to follow it. Though very successful in her career, romantically she's like a little child grabbing at candy, unable to wait for gratification. Jennifer never learned that delayed gratification is usually more satisfying and more profound than a quick greedy grab at what you want. If she doesn't develop some self-control, she is doomed to keep repeating her pattern, and she'll never find what she's looking for.

Just because you met a gorgeous prospect in a bar last night and gave him your phone number doesn't mean that you have to start getting stressed at lunchtime the next day because he hasn't called you yet. If you start building castles in the air too soon, a man will pick up on that and be put off by it. We all know how unattractive a desperate-seeming person is. Also, it's not really flattering to the man you are interested in. Because if you're that desperate, like Jennifer, you will just latch on to the next vaguely eligible man you meet, without taking the time to get to know him as a person. You're not seeing him for who he really is. A man naturally likes to feel that you want him for himself, not just as any old buffer against the loneliness of being single.

What to Do Instead: Let Him Breathe

When Matthew met Sally, he had recently finished a fling with another girl, and though he liked Sally, he wasn't sure yet about his true feelings: was she a rebound? He knew that he was still a little confused and shaken up by the fling, which hadn't ended well, and he didn't want to rush into anything until he felt that he had his emotions more under control. So he took things much more slowly than he usually would have. They went out a couple of nights a week, to the movies or to dinner, but Matthew didn't make a move on Sally for a month. He wanted to get to know her and to give himself time to figure out what was going on. It was the longest Matthew had ever waited before kissing a girl, but he wanted to be sure that he really liked Sally before he rushed into something with her, and then panicked because he wasn't ready.

Sally knew that Matthew had just broken up with someone, and she sensed that he wasn't ready yet. She also managed to keep her feelings under control and not push Matthew to make a move before he was ready -- though, of course, she was very much hoping that this would happen sooner rather than later! She had the harder task -- Matthew, due to his confusion about his attraction to Sally and the feelings he still had for his ex, was naturally able to go slower. Sally's job was to discipline herself, keep her growing feelings for him under wraps, and not pressure him.

She knew she had to leave it to Matthew to make the move, because if she were the one to take the first step, one way or another it would go wrong. Either Matthew would respond, they would end up in bed together, and it would be too early, causing him to get nervous and need some time out; or he would reject her. Sally naturally found this very difficult. Still, she had a couple of good friends to confide in, and she vented to them. Meanwhile, Matthew kept ringing her and they kept going out on lovely dates. Sally let Matthew do most of the work. And finally, when Matthew did make a pass at her, it went wonderfully. They were both more than ready and they acknowledged right away how much they liked each other. Sally and Matthew have been together ever since.

Summary

Do

  • Avoid giving more than you get. Don't let yourself get into a situation where the person you're dating is taking you for a ride and not really interested in a serious relationship with you. Don't throw yourself blindly at someone -- you'll lose yourself and forget what you really want and need.


  • Keep your self-control. You might fall head over heels for a man you meet at a party, but you know very little about someone you've only talked to for a couple of hours. Even if you fall into bed with him that very night, you still hardly know him! Which is why it's a good idea to take things slowly and maintain self-control so you can work out what kind of person he really is, and whether he can be trusted with your love.


  • Be discriminating. There are plenty of attractive people out there with whom you will be compatible. Just because someone is flirting with you and you are attracted to him doesn't mean that you shouldn't give yourself time to see how strong the compatibility is.


Don't

  • Overconfide in your friends. People -- even ones with the best intentions -- gossip terribly. In the early stages, play your cards close to your chest. Overconfiding can also make you obsessive about a man -- don't talk about someone new constantly. Remind yourself that you have a life!

  • Overindulge your feelings. The more Marianne dwells on her love for Willoughby, the sicker she makes herself. If your love is clearly hopeless, try not to think about it every hour of the day and night. Distract yourself as much as possible and put it from your mind. It will make your recovery much faster.


  • Get into a competition. Remember, you should be letting him chase you, not chasing him! And that means not putting your feelings more on display than his are. If a man is making you feel that you need to war against other potential prospects for his attentions, it's a big warning sign. Instead, he should make you feel that you are the only person he really wants to get to know. If he doesn't, you should cross him off your list immediately. Any relationship you have with him will always make you feel insecure.


Copyright © 2005 Lauren Henderson

For more information, please visit www.writtenvoices.com.

Why You're Still Single:

Get Over It

A new book from relationship writers Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes on getting over your grudges. Things your friends would tell you if you promised not to get mad...
Why You're Still Single: Get Over It
By Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes
Published by Plume; May 2006;$13.00US/$17.00CAN; 0-452-28738-3

Evan
Everything I’ve learned about conflict resolution, I learned from Kenny Rogers. I remember one night back in 1977: I was lost, hitting the bottle, causing problems at home. Of course, I was five years old, so you could say that I didn’t know better, but Kenny wouldn’t let me off the hook. At that point, he was known mostly for his 1974 hit, Lucille . But as the beer flowed and the clock ticked, and I talked about how I’d been fighting with my old lady, Kenny laid it all out for me as plain as the Texas summer sky.


"You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em."

Translation: If you’re on the losing end of an argument, you better learn to shut the hell up and apologize.

A girlfriend of mine was really stressing about what kind of dress to wear to a friend’s wedding. It was on a Sunday afternoon in August, so black was out, red was too showy, and white was an obvious no-no. She ended up choosing a hot-looking lavender silk number, which made us both very happy . . . until we walked in and saw that she was dressed like all the bridesmaids.

That wasn’t the real problem. The real problem was that I laughed. Mostly because it was funny. Maybe a part of me thought that we could joke our way past this minor inconvenience, especially since there was nothing we could do about it. Uh uh. Not only was my girlfriend traumatized by the wardrobe similarity, but my jocular manner dug me a hole the size of the Grand Canyon. After a couple of minutes of trying to get her to see the lighter side of the situation, I realized that the only thing I could do was apologize profusely and empathize with her plight. A few days and a whole lot of tears later, we made up. Yet if had I remembered Kenny’s advice from the get-go, I could have saved us both a whole lot of trouble.

"Know when to walk away, know when to run."

Translation: If you can’t agree to disagree, you’re in for some very long nights staring at the ceiling or sleeping on the couch.

Explanation: Agreeing to disagree is the single most important part of Getting Over It, because there's no arbitrator that's going to step in and award you points just because you're 65 percent right and he's 35 percent right. Even if there were, even if you tallied up all the argument points that you've ever won over your hapless, ill-informed boyfriend, what would you possibly do with them? Nothing. "Winning" arguments takes as much time as winning 3,000 Skee-Ball tickets -- and has about the equivalent value. So unless a handful of spider rings and Superballs are important to you, it's generally best to just leave it alone.

"You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table/There’ll be enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done."

Translation: Congratulations, you won the fight. Now be a gracious winner and never bring up the topic again.

Explanation: Sometimes things are clear-cut. He started a fight with a guy at the movies. He got drunk and made a fool out of himself at a dinner party. He forgot that you had plans for dinner and left you waiting for two hours. In such instances, he has no justifiable excuse. This doesn’t mean he won’t try to invent one, and it doesn’t mean he can’t cobble together something that sounds semi-reasonable. But whatever his motives, his actions were wrong, and he’s gotta step up and apologize. And you, class act that you are, have to accept his apology and let it go. No allusions to past disagreements. No storing up ammunition for future battles. And certainly no passive-aggressive comments. You’re right, he’s wrong, move on!

A couple I know have their share of marital squabbles. One evening, the day after a touchy argument that they had agreed was patched up, the husband came home with two bouquets of flowers. Despite the "peace" that they had made and the floral gesture, the wife remained as pissy and stone-faced as if he had just skinned her cat. Not good. After you make up, you have to let things go, especially in front of other people. I know another couple in which the wife constantly berated her husband for his career choice (writer), although she married him knowing full well his chosen vocation. Not only did her negative jibes surely affect his confidence, but it made everyone around them terribly uncomfortable. Of course, the word "sorry" does not heal all, nor does a couple of bouquets of flowers, but what more can you possibly do once everything has been said? What value is there in hashing out the same issue over and over again?

It’s one thing to be all about sharing feelings, and another thing to always beat a dead horse into some ugly, sticky glue. I would never compare your precious relationship with horse-based glue, but Kenny would, and since he’s been happily married since 1997, I think you should listen to him.

Linda
There's such a thing as a healthy grudge. I bear healthy grudges against: (1) my bank; (2) the Columbia House Music Club; (3) a guy who once told me a truckload of lies, causing havoc that took years to untangle; (4) a vet who didn't properly care for a cat of ours and later sniped that it was because he was too busy to give us all the relevant information; (5) one of my college professors; (6) Justice Scalia; and (7) a kid who regularly plagiarizes my writing on the internet. I dislike all of these people and entities based on their past (and, in some cases, ongoing) misdeeds, and I do not deny it. I won't be getting over it, I won't cotton to any platitudes about bygones, and if I see any of them walking down the street, I will flash them a dirty look like you would not believe. Not that you can really see the Columbia House Music Club walking down the street, but you get the idea. I learned a long time ago that the ability to live peacefully in a universe in which you have enemies will save you years of misery.

But grudges against people you're supposed to love, or like, or be related to? Those are not so healthy. The great thing about being angry at that college professor is that I never have to see him again. In fact, I don't feel the need to achieve resolution of my feelings in any of those cases, and I don't feel the need to be forgiving. Why would I forgive the vet? He never apologized. The hell with him! My cat died! Bad vet!

But when you feel like you've been wronged by somebody you care about, it's sort of like singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," in that everybody knows how to keep it going, and nobody knows the graceful way to end it. And if you don't end it, you will wind up having the same relationship with your boyfriend that I have with my bank, and believe me, you do not want that to happen.

Of course, the way you put away your anger depends partly on what you have to work with. If you get lucky, you'll have an honest conversation about it. You'll work out whatever caused the fight, and you'll feel comfortable that the problem is solved. The biggest hazard is probably "winning" the argument -- which you will do from time to time, in the sense of extracting a flat-out, unqualified apology -- and then feeling the need to go back and "teasingly" bring it up over and over again, which you should not do. Unless you enjoy being reminded of everything you've ever done wrong, shut up and forget it.

Things are naturally more difficult when you expend a lot of effort, and when it's over, you still don't feel like you've solved anything. You've been offered a dubious explanation, or you still think he was wrong and he still thinks you were wrong, and no amount of discourse has changed anyone's mind. What to do?

Sometimes the smartest thing is to ask yourself this: What is the worst thing that will happen if I resolve to never think about this again? Women -- especially women who have never had close, platonic male friends -- wildly underestimate the prominence of "Oh, my God, would you fucking drop it" in the list of male complaints about women. If I were to pick out one area in which men have us at a disadvantage, it would be that of not thinking and talking the life out of everything that happens until everyone involved is a dried-out husk. I once got into a fairly heated email exchange with a male friend who worked in my office, and it went on all morning, and then at about 11:00, he sent me one that said, "We have to be friends again by 11:30, because remember, that's when we have to leave for lunch." And we were. Ding! Fight over. Because it didn't really matter, and when it doesn't really matter, you can just declare it over. And it is. You can even shout "Ding!" if you want, but make sure the guy knows what you're talking about, or you'll get funny looks.

Copyright © 2006 Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes

About The Authors:

Evan Marc Katz is the founder of E-Cyrano.com, an online dating consulting service that partners with JDate and other dating sites. He has been featured on CNN, Fox, NPR, and the Today Show, and, yes, he is, in fact, single and living in Los Angeles.


Linda Holmes writes as "Miss Alli" for Television Without Pity and is a frequent contributor to MSNBC.com. She lives in Minneapolis.

Visit www.whyyourestillsingle.com for more information.

By Buzzle Staff and Agencies
Published: 5/23/2006

Tips for Singles Interested-

in Free Online Dating

Here is some advice when considering free online dating sites.
Free online dating is a cheap and efficient way of meeting singles in today's world. The average amount of money that is spent on one real life date is about fifty dollars. To some that is just plain crazy, that is why free online dating is so popular. There are numerous sites that do not charge for their dating services and some that do. Today we'll discuss what to look out for when searching for the perfect free dating site.

When searching for a free dating site you might come across the big name dating sites that say their services are free when in reality they're not. Double check if these sites are really free in their About Us section of their site, here you will usually get the nitty gritty. This way you will not waste your time in filling out a profile and then get charged for using a simple feature like email. When reading the About Us section do not be fooled by their clever slogans like paying for quality online dating will result in quality experiences. This is so beyond the truth it's insane, like mentioned before there are plenty of other completely free online dating sites that have the same features or even more than these wallet pinching thieves! The moral of this first rule is this: Why join a dating site that lies to you right in the beginning?

Look out for the number of ads placed within the dating site. If you click on a free online dating site and then you see your screen become flooded with flashing ads, Get Out! These dating sites usually have all sorts of viruses and bugs that could very well harm your computer. Another example of inappropriate ad placement is this, if you decide to join a free online dating site and you're required to click on an advertisement before moving on to the next step, Get Out! No dating site should make you their slave and make them get richer and richer by annoying you with ads to click. You should enjoy your free online dating experience, you shouldn't get hassled for it.

If you do decide to join a free online dating site make sure that your privacy is kept. Meaning this, usually when you fill out a dating profile you're asked for your email address. After you finish completing your profile make sure you can remove your email address from the dating site's mailing list. If you cannot delete it this is normally a bad sign. Dating sites that require your email address and will not let you delete it often email you fake messages stating that someone is interested in you or something along those lines just to keep you coming back. Sometimes these dating sites sell your email address to other sites that will send you even more ridiculous emails. Again, you of all people should enjoy free online dating.

So these are the first three things to look out for when considering free online dating. Don't be discouraged when reading these tips, there are plenty of trustworthy dating sites on the web. Just be smart and know what to watch out for when filling in your personal information.
A Friendly and Free Online Dating
100% free online dating

By April Wu
Published: 11/20/2008

Why You're Still Single:

Get Over It

A new book from relationship writers Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes on getting over your grudges. Things your friends would tell you if you promised not to get mad...
Why You're Still Single: Get Over It
By Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes
Published by Plume; May 2006;$13.00US/$17.00CAN; 0-452-28738-3

Evan
Everything I’ve learned about conflict resolution, I learned from Kenny Rogers. I remember one night back in 1977: I was lost, hitting the bottle, causing problems at home. Of course, I was five years old, so you could say that I didn’t know better, but Kenny wouldn’t let me off the hook. At that point, he was known mostly for his 1974 hit, Lucille . But as the beer flowed and the clock ticked, and I talked about how I’d been fighting with my old lady, Kenny laid it all out for me as plain as the Texas summer sky.


"You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em."

Translation: If you’re on the losing end of an argument, you better learn to shut the hell up and apologize.

A girlfriend of mine was really stressing about what kind of dress to wear to a friend’s wedding. It was on a Sunday afternoon in August, so black was out, red was too showy, and white was an obvious no-no. She ended up choosing a hot-looking lavender silk number, which made us both very happy . . . until we walked in and saw that she was dressed like all the bridesmaids.

That wasn’t the real problem. The real problem was that I laughed. Mostly because it was funny. Maybe a part of me thought that we could joke our way past this minor inconvenience, especially since there was nothing we could do about it. Uh uh. Not only was my girlfriend traumatized by the wardrobe similarity, but my jocular manner dug me a hole the size of the Grand Canyon. After a couple of minutes of trying to get her to see the lighter side of the situation, I realized that the only thing I could do was apologize profusely and empathize with her plight. A few days and a whole lot of tears later, we made up. Yet if had I remembered Kenny’s advice from the get-go, I could have saved us both a whole lot of trouble.

"Know when to walk away, know when to run."

Translation: If you can’t agree to disagree, you’re in for some very long nights staring at the ceiling or sleeping on the couch.

Explanation: Agreeing to disagree is the single most important part of Getting Over It, because there's no arbitrator that's going to step in and award you points just because you're 65 percent right and he's 35 percent right. Even if there were, even if you tallied up all the argument points that you've ever won over your hapless, ill-informed boyfriend, what would you possibly do with them? Nothing. "Winning" arguments takes as much time as winning 3,000 Skee-Ball tickets -- and has about the equivalent value. So unless a handful of spider rings and Superballs are important to you, it's generally best to just leave it alone.

"You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table/There’ll be enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done."

Translation: Congratulations, you won the fight. Now be a gracious winner and never bring up the topic again.

Explanation: Sometimes things are clear-cut. He started a fight with a guy at the movies. He got drunk and made a fool out of himself at a dinner party. He forgot that you had plans for dinner and left you waiting for two hours. In such instances, he has no justifiable excuse. This doesn’t mean he won’t try to invent one, and it doesn’t mean he can’t cobble together something that sounds semi-reasonable. But whatever his motives, his actions were wrong, and he’s gotta step up and apologize. And you, class act that you are, have to accept his apology and let it go. No allusions to past disagreements. No storing up ammunition for future battles. And certainly no passive-aggressive comments. You’re right, he’s wrong, move on!

A couple I know have their share of marital squabbles. One evening, the day after a touchy argument that they had agreed was patched up, the husband came home with two bouquets of flowers. Despite the "peace" that they had made and the floral gesture, the wife remained as pissy and stone-faced as if he had just skinned her cat. Not good. After you make up, you have to let things go, especially in front of other people. I know another couple in which the wife constantly berated her husband for his career choice (writer), although she married him knowing full well his chosen vocation. Not only did her negative jibes surely affect his confidence, but it made everyone around them terribly uncomfortable. Of course, the word "sorry" does not heal all, nor does a couple of bouquets of flowers, but what more can you possibly do once everything has been said? What value is there in hashing out the same issue over and over again?

It’s one thing to be all about sharing feelings, and another thing to always beat a dead horse into some ugly, sticky glue. I would never compare your precious relationship with horse-based glue, but Kenny would, and since he’s been happily married since 1997, I think you should listen to him.

Linda
There's such a thing as a healthy grudge. I bear healthy grudges against: (1) my bank; (2) the Columbia House Music Club; (3) a guy who once told me a truckload of lies, causing havoc that took years to untangle; (4) a vet who didn't properly care for a cat of ours and later sniped that it was because he was too busy to give us all the relevant information; (5) one of my college professors; (6) Justice Scalia; and (7) a kid who regularly plagiarizes my writing on the internet. I dislike all of these people and entities based on their past (and, in some cases, ongoing) misdeeds, and I do not deny it. I won't be getting over it, I won't cotton to any platitudes about bygones, and if I see any of them walking down the street, I will flash them a dirty look like you would not believe. Not that you can really see the Columbia House Music Club walking down the street, but you get the idea. I learned a long time ago that the ability to live peacefully in a universe in which you have enemies will save you years of misery.

But grudges against people you're supposed to love, or like, or be related to? Those are not so healthy. The great thing about being angry at that college professor is that I never have to see him again. In fact, I don't feel the need to achieve resolution of my feelings in any of those cases, and I don't feel the need to be forgiving. Why would I forgive the vet? He never apologized. The hell with him! My cat died! Bad vet!

But when you feel like you've been wronged by somebody you care about, it's sort of like singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," in that everybody knows how to keep it going, and nobody knows the graceful way to end it. And if you don't end it, you will wind up having the same relationship with your boyfriend that I have with my bank, and believe me, you do not want that to happen.

Of course, the way you put away your anger depends partly on what you have to work with. If you get lucky, you'll have an honest conversation about it. You'll work out whatever caused the fight, and you'll feel comfortable that the problem is solved. The biggest hazard is probably "winning" the argument -- which you will do from time to time, in the sense of extracting a flat-out, unqualified apology -- and then feeling the need to go back and "teasingly" bring it up over and over again, which you should not do. Unless you enjoy being reminded of everything you've ever done wrong, shut up and forget it.

Things are naturally more difficult when you expend a lot of effort, and when it's over, you still don't feel like you've solved anything. You've been offered a dubious explanation, or you still think he was wrong and he still thinks you were wrong, and no amount of discourse has changed anyone's mind. What to do?

Sometimes the smartest thing is to ask yourself this: What is the worst thing that will happen if I resolve to never think about this again? Women -- especially women who have never had close, platonic male friends -- wildly underestimate the prominence of "Oh, my God, would you fucking drop it" in the list of male complaints about women. If I were to pick out one area in which men have us at a disadvantage, it would be that of not thinking and talking the life out of everything that happens until everyone involved is a dried-out husk. I once got into a fairly heated email exchange with a male friend who worked in my office, and it went on all morning, and then at about 11:00, he sent me one that said, "We have to be friends again by 11:30, because remember, that's when we have to leave for lunch." And we were. Ding! Fight over. Because it didn't really matter, and when it doesn't really matter, you can just declare it over. And it is. You can even shout "Ding!" if you want, but make sure the guy knows what you're talking about, or you'll get funny looks.

Copyright © 2006 Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes

About The Authors:

Evan Marc Katz is the founder of E-Cyrano.com, an online dating consulting service that partners with JDate and other dating sites. He has been featured on CNN, Fox, NPR, and the Today Show, and, yes, he is, in fact, single and living in Los Angeles.


Linda Holmes writes as "Miss Alli" for Television Without Pity and is a frequent contributor to MSNBC.com. She lives in Minneapolis.

Visit www.whyyourestillsingle.com for more information.

By Buzzle Staff and Agencies
Published: 5/23/2006

Dating with Intentions

22Dating with Intentions

We all date with intentions. What are they, and are some better than others?
Dating with Intentions
Everyone has a reason for dating. Not everyone has the same intentions for dating. I guess it depends on the person, but some reasons for dating have got to be better than others. Let us take a look at some major reasons why people go out together.

The Heart of Dating Intentions

Companionship. Everyone needs someone. No matter how much some people try to deny they need to have someone to love them and someone to love back, it’s true. Human interaction is normal, healthy and natural. Having a relationship with someone is an extremely meaningful experience. People who date for this reason aren’t in denial about their needs as a human being with a heart.

Sex. There are people who date just for sex. Sometimes people, particularly women, desire intimacy strongly and think sex is the way to get it. It is the very closest you can get to a person physically and spiritually. The other realms of closeness, emotional and intellectual, may or not be there. If sex is the only intent, chances are these important elements will not be there. Men want intimacy, too. There is something that this physical act does to men that makes them feel…more like a man, I suppose. I do believe that sex addiction or dating with intent of ‘the hook up’ alone is a sign of a low self esteem or a distorted view of what a healthy relationship is.

Experience. Many pre-teens and teens just want to know what it’s like. While this is a healthy curiosity, it is important not to rush through these precious moments of life. Hanging out, holding hands, and kissing are so exciting to experience for the first time. A more reserved approach is a wiser way to go with this intention. Dating just because you can or want to isn’t a good reason. At least decide on a decent person to date first, which should take some time. Starting too early can either lead to a countless number of heartbreaks, or one or two incredibly, excruciatingly painful heart aches. There is no specific age that is a good time to start, but if you want it so bad that you will date almost anyone for the ‘experience,’ you aren’t ready for it.

Marriage. A majority of people would eventually like to settle down. Some girls dream about the perfect man for them and hope the first ‘true love’ is the one they marry. Others take their time and shop around, but then settle down later. There are many people who are afraid of this intention, and would rather just ‘see where it goes.’ I think it is important to consider the possibility, but not be too anxious about selecting a mate. If there is no possibility of marrying the one you are dating, and you know this for sure, it is probably better to end it early. It could save the heart ache of dragging on a pointless relationship that will just be destined to end. Otherwise, take it slowly and ‘see where it goes.’

A Word to the Wise

There are many more intentions out there, some good and some bad. I think we can talk about dating intentions in general now.

Don’t take dating too lightly. If you are in the dating game just for the fun of it, be careful. Make sure that your intentions are clear to the person, or people, that you are dating from the beginning. Pretending to really love someone and claim you want to be with them forever isn’t something to fake. If you just want to have fun, then say so. Don’t lead anyone on. Also, to safeguard your own heart, don’t get too intimate if you are dating more than one person, or aren’t looking for commitment. The human heart can only handle just but so much intimacy, and you could wear yourself too thin to ever have one, deep, truly meaningful relationship.

Don’t take dating too seriously. You can’t expect, or demand, to know everything about someone in a short amount of time so you can decide to marry them or not. Focus on developing a meaningful friendship as well as romance. If you are happy with them, you will know it. Another mistake some people make, particularly women, is reading into everything they say or do. For example, if they forget something that you think is special, it doesn’t always mean they don’t care. A fight is not the end of the world, and no one is perfect. Try not to make wedding plans after the third date. Infatuation can last up to three years, so you ought to wait until you have a genuine desire to be together, fluffy feelings aside. Warm fuzzies in your heart doesn’t mean they are the right one for you. Get to know them for real, and don’t be afraid to let them go if it’s not right.

Are some intentions better than others? That is up to you to decide.

By Chesley Maldonado
Published: 5/31/2007

Are You Ready for True Love?

People enter relationships for different reasons but until you are happy as single, on your own, you will not be happy in a relationship either. Those who tasted it, say that loneliness in two is much worse than being alone by yourself!
Are You Ready for True Love?
"Learning to love takes a lifetime, and it’s not for the spiritually asthmatic. I often wondered why I wasn’t ready earlier for my true love. The truth was, I needed to make God my truer love first. I thought he was, but it took years of training to help me wake up to a few crucial realities about being satisfied in Christ. He stretched my endurance because he knew I could have the marriage I longed for only when I found my wholeness in a relationship with him." Erin Keeley Marshall
This is a truth that is often times ignored, indeed, marrying or being in a relationship just because you feel miserable alone, is not a good enough reason. Think about it, if you are not happy alone, do you think that another human being can bring in your life the happiness you dream of?

What if a desperate guy/girl would want to depend on you for his/her happiness, wouldn’t that be too much of a load for you? Even if you might not realize the pressure you’d have to live with, after a while it is suffocating and you just want a break!

That’s why, before entering a serious relationship, you need to learn to be happy on your own. If you are happy on your own, you maximize your chances of being happy in a relationship.

It is a lie to think that you cannot be content unless you are in a relationship. To be in love with the "in-love concept" is very different from being in love with a certain individual. Try to see if your motivation to be in that relationship is not only a circumstantial one like "all my friends have someone" or "I hate being alone" or any other reason except really admiring that person you want to be with.

But how can someone be happy alone?

I think we should all be grateful for the time we get to spend out of the bond of a certain relationship; this is a time you can use for discovering yourself, to truly know yourself, to identify more clearly what your desires are concerning your future mate, your purpose in life, God’s plan for your life.

A crucial part of the process is to use this time in your benefit, that is to become yourself someone that others might want to be with; this involves the polishing of your character, smoothing those areas where you tend to be sharp, learning how to deal in situations where you seem to lose control. Now that I have mentioned control, keep in mind that while it is good to know what you want and where you stand, controlling others, namely your partner, will not lead to positive long term results.

For instance, if you tend to dominate, learn how to tame your dominance by listening to the other’s opinions, really weighing what they have to say. As you might have noticed and as history has proven it over and over again, dictators have fallen head first! You surely don’t want to be a dictator…I hope; however the consequences of a dominant behavior are disastrous.

Also be realistic, there is no such a thing like the perfect man or the perfect woman, perfect for you indeed is a different thing. If there are flows that keep you away from certain potential partners, try to differentiate correctly between a noble character and a less important defect, you know, all people have them and that includes you and I.

The most important thing to realize during your time alone is that God loves you for who you are – even if He doesn’t want you to remain at the same level. God wants to give you a great love story, greater than you can ever imagine! A God that can do everything, a God Who loves you intensely and a God Who is infinitely wiser than you are, will surely work behind the scenes to give you the best partner there is for you. Ask Him! Talk to Him about it!

Some people say "well, if I let God choose my partner, He will give me the most boring/dull mate." It takes a lot of naivety to say so and this clearly shows that a person who believes like that, does not really know God.

No, God will give you the wisdom to choose the right one and that right one to choose you as well, yet God wants you to build a home together, not to destroy one another. It takes a diamond to cut a diamond, and in the process of becoming polished, God might and actually is likely to use your partner but God also knows when to put the two of you together! First He has to remove some sediments…or impurities, so that you would not hurt each other.

However, wait actively and use your time to learn to become the best version of yourself, be happy for who you are!

By Claudia Miclaus
Published: 7/19/2008

Physical Attraction

In Men and Women

Attraction is a special quality in a person that inspires fascination in others. It is a characteristic that provides pleasure and attracts. This article talks about ways to attract other people.
Physical Attraction In Men and Women
World's Most Attractive Women
Aishwarya Rai, Keira Knightley, Julia Roberts and Nicole Kidman

World's Most Attractive Men
George Clooney, Brad Pitt and David Beckham

And You?

The movie ‘Laws of Attraction’ is well-threaded light comedy but meaningful story where two top divorce lawyers, who have never lost a case, both gorgeous, and both single battle it out in court. Audrey is edgy and uptight, a perfectionist, while Dan is more the sloppy, debonair, intuitive type. Ultimately get romantic about each other.

Attraction is a special quality in a person that inspires fascination in others. It is a characteristic that provides pleasure and attracts. For Example, "flowers are an attractor for bees". This can be cultivated. You can create positive vibrations that seem to come from and surround your person. Once these attractions are cultivated, you begin to exercise stimulus on others. According to Dr. Albert points out even standing in a room as attraction criteria. "Where you are in a room (and what you're doing) has a lot to do with your ability to attract." Thus be in center to be attracted. Anyway there are lots of things to learn about attraction.

"He is greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own" said Henry Ward Beecher.

Being Attracted

Attraction is an attention, affection and respect. To get success in attracting others including attention, affection and respect, you can walk on following ways.

Like attracts like
"There is a law of attraction", says Norman Peale "Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together". If you like or love someone then only expect someone to like you.

Giving is virtue. Don’t count it.
God loves a cheerful giver. It is more blessed to give rather than to receive. Let your heart shares what you have with others. In society people give or donate to show or represent their egos. Giving is most positive feeling. Give without expecting anything in return. It is not necessary to give big things only. This feeling comes from heart and only that make you pleasant.

Live out Humility
"Humility is not renunciation of pride but the substitution one pride for another", suggested Eric Hoffman. Charity, tolerance and humility have supreme value. Humility and inner peace go hand in hand. Believe in self rather proving to others. While cultivating humility stop ego which is nearest factor in this process.

Purity
"Faith attracts the heart," says Scheeben. Faith and patience are pre-condition of attraction or being attracted.

Saw The Desired
What we tell ourselves about our lives and ourselves day after day has a great effect. All the time, see and think of yourself as and attractive personality’. Keep the image of it clearly before the mind. You will then attract all the things necessary to accomplish it. Be cheerful and hopeful no matter is positive.

Cheerful Face
Laughter is great wealth. Get your face cheerful. When you smile your brain puts into action the ‘endorphins’ – the natural pain relieving system of the body. Other than that, smile relaxes you. A smile wins friends. Give it freely to people. Andre Crippa says, "We do not completely love those at whom we cannot smile." It pleases others and also lifts your own spirit. While attracting others keep in mind that a smile makes the distance among two people shortest.

Enthusiasm & Passion
It is mother of success. It brings money, power and influence. Ralph Emerson says "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Then how is it possible to attract without enthusiasm. Believe in your work. Love your every job you do. Get enthusiasm into your personality. Do not hold back because of feeling unsure about projecting enthusiasm. Enthusiasm can do wonders for you.

Manners
Good behavior, courtesy and kindness make others to believe in you. A good manner is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. – Jonathan Swift. It is a source of pleasure. It secures all the honors. Manner is not limited to only few people. Behave to everyone as if you were with great guest.

Control
"The senses have been conditioned by attraction to the pleasant and aversion to the unpleasant: a man should not be ruled by them; they are obstacles in his path." - Bhagavad Gita . Attraction develops into desire and desire breeds anger. Controlling attraction or being attracted above par is necessary.

Probably theory of attraction will clarify our sights to follow up true attraction.

Theory of Attraction

Attraction Theory is defined as the theory concerned with the process involved in attributing causation or motivation to a person's behavior. Why are we attracted to certain individuals and not others? Many scholars believe attraction is based on people who are more similar to us. "Reinforcement and attraction are positively correlated, the more reinforcement one gets, the more attraction one feels" (Byrne, 1967). Attraction is based on three major factors (see DeVito, 1998):

Attractiveness - Mans personal qualities and woman’s physical attractiveness are more common factors of attraction.

Proximity – "The people who become friends (or more) were those who had the greatest opportunity to interact" says DeVito.

Similarity - Perceived similarity is the degree to which we believe another's characteristics are similar to ours- is often sufficient to attract us to others" says Infate.

Try it. Follow anything that is good! However I hope I did it. What? Attraction!

Further Readings

How to attract people? By Lion A.R. Shantilal Nahar

Things That She Does

Not Need to Find Out

Although the key to success is communication, it is not advisable to tell her everything that bothers you or tell about your past relationships in detail. There are things that belong to the past and need to stay there. In general it may not be a good idea to tell her from the beginning that you initiated the date only because you were bored and not totally attracted by her. These issues may damage your intimacy and create trouble. There are also topics that need to be kept away from your potential date.

1. You are dependent on your mother

Your loved one does not need to know that you lived with your parents until recently only because it was comfortable to have your mother close to you. No woman will accept a man depending on his mother's care. If you tell her this, she will start thinking that your mother can influence your relationship with her.

2. Things that your mates do

If you have close friends that like to do crazy stuff, do not inform your potential girlfriend about it. If they want to go to a strip bar, she will not be happy and may become frightened about the ideas your friends can place in your mind.

3. The excess of porn movies

Your potential girlfriend does not want to know how many porn movies you watch a week, so spare the details. Maybe she is not disturbed too much but she can ask herself questions like: ''Do I satisfy him?'', ''Does he have a fetish?'' or ''Is he mentally deranged?"

4. You liked her girlfriend before

…but because she said: ''No way!'' you turned to her instead. Even if you realize now that it was the best choice possible, such a confession can make your present relationship dysfunctional. No woman would ever like to be second choice; she would not think this is a funny event or just fate.

For more information, simply visit this website.

By Marius Gherghinescu
Published: 9/4/2008

You Want to Start a Family

But He Doesn't

You have been with him for a period of time and love him dearly. You can hardly wait to get married and start a family but he thinks that this is not the best moment to conceive. You do not want either to give him up because of this, or change your mind related to having a baby, so what's to be done?

1. Find out what his reasons are

Usually men do not want kids because this is a too great responsibility for which they are not ready yet, they do not feel mature enough to become a daddy. Besides, they think their income is insufficient to support a baby. Also, men ask questions like: ''Would I be able to give my kid a proper education?'', ''Would I provide for all costs?'', ''Would I offer my kid whatever he/she needs or wants?''.

Another reason, really common, is fear. The fear that the minute the kid appears, mummy will become totally absorbed by motherhood.

2. How do you convince him?

Discuss this matter frankly; tell him how important a baby is for you, it is not a simple desire, but a new step in your relationship. Do not pressure him like ''If I have a baby I'll be single parent''. This way you scare him completely and he will become paranoid.

Take him to places populated by kids, parks or families that have babies. Play with them together and tell him he would be a great daddy. If he tells that he does not want a baby with you, you need to consider this; maybe he is serious about it.

3. You may need to know that…

If you give up your dream to have a baby there will be tensions and frustrations, fights and arguments so think well if you accept to compromise.

For more information, simply visit this website.

By Marius Gherghinescu
Published: 9/4/2008

Dating Relationship: Is it Togetherness or Possession?

It's one mistake people in the early phases of a relationship make. And it all starts with the best of intentions.
It's been awhile since you have been in the dating game but you are back with a vengeance. And happily you have met someone that you are getting serious about. The calls last to all hours of the morning even though the two of you have to get up early.

You spend weekends together sharing life experiences along with your hopes and dreams for the future. Neither of you has had it easy but you're hanging in there and the fact that the two of you have found each other makes every moment you spend together that much better.

But the thought has passed through your mind a time or two that may be you and your dating partner spend too much time together. You get an uncomfortable feeling that a certain amount of neediness is creeping into the relationship. Yet it does not stop there.

You also think that neediness is turning into possession. It is not just that you hate to be away from your dating partner but you find yourself having certain thoughts that border on unhealthy jealousy.

Take into consideration a few things:
  • The Court Room: When you and your dating partner get together after an absence, how do you go about asking them questions? Is it just a general what have you been up to or does it turn into a serious cross examination. You want to know all the details and if something does not add up from your perspective you find yourself going over their testimony again until you are fully satisfied.
  • The Panic: You don't hear from them for a day or even two. How do you handle it? Longing to be with them is one thing but letting their absence take you on an emotion roller coaster ride is another. Does your mind start racing towards some jealous thoughts? Or does it get to the point where you have to get in touch with them not to see how they are doing but alleviate your fears or confirm your suspicions?
  • The Mood: When you and your dating partner do get together, they cannot help but notice your mood has changed. They ask you if anything is wrong. You tell them know (which is a lie) or you let your emotions get ahead of your logic and tell them how you felt when they were away. Your partner may appreciate that you missed them but your tone and body language could also tell them they are going to have trouble with you in the near future.
It's good to be in love but keep in mind the best way to destroy a relationship is to smother it. If your dating partner has strong feelings for you and vice versa enjoy it while giving the relationship space and time to blossom. That space and time will also help you from driving yourself crazy.

The Relationship Tip - Are you wasting your time loving "Suckas"?

winthemarket.com

By Daryl Campbell
Published: 11/12/2008

Dating Relationship:

Are You Looking For A Compliment?

There are certain dating rituals that we take for granted. One in particular doesn't seem like a big deal but if forgotten, it can put a cloud over the entire relationship.
The mirror sure is kind to you. You put maximum effort into sprucing yourself up for the date and it looks like it has paid off big time. You look so good you can hardly stand it. No doubt when your dating partner sees you they are going to be floored.

And here they are now. They apologize for being slightly late but are ready to go out and have good time. The conversation sparkles but isn't that always when it comes to the two of you? You catch a reflection of yourself from time to time and it appears like you look better now than you did when you left the house. How is that possible? Oh well you tell yourself some people have got it, some don't. You've got enough of it to fill three cargo ships.

But as the evening wears on your mood has changed considerably. Your date asks you what's wrong. You say "nothing" in a way that implies something is not right. By the time the date is over you are in the foulest of moods. As you and your date say goodnight they again ask you what's wrong. You again give the same answer. After assessing the evening you are not to sure you want to continue with the relationship.

You were looking for something from your date that they failed to provide. Now your ego is bruised. You wanted a compliment. After all you did spend considerable time getting yourself ready and if your date was too dense to notice may be it's time to find someone new.

Slow down. Now ask yourself why you went out with this person originally. Was it because they were always throwing bouquets at your feet or telling you how wonderful you look? If those were the reasons then this relationship was in trouble from the start.

No doubt when we look good we want our date to notice but it shouldn't be a gauge that determines your temperament for the rest of the evening. If you want then ask how you look. Once that is out of the way then you can get on with the rest of the date. Besides how are you when it comes to complimenting your date? Do you do it at all or do you only say it so they will reciprocate in kind?

Your appearance should be very important to you or anyone for that matter but do not let your pride get too close to it. The ego is a fragile thing that can easily be wounded. Know that you look good and spend the rest of the time concentrating on making the date special for the both of you.

Article written by Daryl Campbell - The Relationship Tip - If you want your date to end badly then ask one or all three of these questions.

winthemarket.com

By Daryl Campbell
Published: 11/12/2008

Dating Relationship: Is it Togetherness or Possession?

It's one mistake people in the early phases of a relationship make. And it all starts with the best of intentions.
It's been awhile since you have been in the dating game but you are back with a vengeance. And happily you have met someone that you are getting serious about. The calls last to all hours of the morning even though the two of you have to get up early.

You spend weekends together sharing life experiences along with your hopes and dreams for the future. Neither of you has had it easy but you're hanging in there and the fact that the two of you have found each other makes every moment you spend together that much better.

But the thought has passed through your mind a time or two that may be you and your dating partner spend too much time together. You get an uncomfortable feeling that a certain amount of neediness is creeping into the relationship. Yet it does not stop there.

You also think that neediness is turning into possession. It is not just that you hate to be away from your dating partner but you find yourself having certain thoughts that border on unhealthy jealousy.

Take into consideration a few things:
  • The Court Room: When you and your dating partner get together after an absence, how do you go about asking them questions? Is it just a general what have you been up to or does it turn into a serious cross examination. You want to know all the details and if something does not add up from your perspective you find yourself going over their testimony again until you are fully satisfied.
  • The Panic: You don't hear from them for a day or even two. How do you handle it? Longing to be with them is one thing but letting their absence take you on an emotion roller coaster ride is another. Does your mind start racing towards some jealous thoughts? Or does it get to the point where you have to get in touch with them not to see how they are doing but alleviate your fears or confirm your suspicions?
  • The Mood: When you and your dating partner do get together, they cannot help but notice your mood has changed. They ask you if anything is wrong. You tell them know (which is a lie) or you let your emotions get ahead of your logic and tell them how you felt when they were away. Your partner may appreciate that you missed them but your tone and body language could also tell them they are going to have trouble with you in the near future.
It's good to be in love but keep in mind the best way to destroy a relationship is to smother it. If your dating partner has strong feelings for you and vice versa enjoy it while giving the relationship space and time to blossom. That space and time will also help you from driving yourself crazy.

The Relationship Tip - Are you wasting your time loving "Suckas"?

winthemarket.com

By Daryl Campbell
Published: 11/12/2008

Valentine Gift!!! Special Valentines Day Gift Basket

Special Valentines Day Gift Basket

On the eve of Valentines Day it is quite exciting and appreciable to gift a unique and special gift basket.
In the recent times, Valentines Day Gift Baskets have gained tremendous popularity. A gift basket loaded with the goodies your friends shall always love to be gifted is both appealing and exciting. This is more because a specially wrapped gift basket shall add a touch of uniqueness to any gift that makes it special for the receiver.

This type of gift basket is very much dependent...
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Physical Attraction

In Men and Women

Attraction is a special quality in a person that inspires fascination in others. It is a characteristic that provides pleasure and attracts. This article talks about ways to attract other people.
Physical Attraction In Men and Women
World's Most Attractive Women
Aishwarya Rai, Keira Knightley, Julia Roberts and Nicole Kidman

World's Most Attractive Men
George Clooney, Brad Pitt and David Beckham

And You?

The movie ‘Laws of Attraction’ is well-threaded light comedy but meaningful story where two top divorce lawyers, who have never lost a case, both gorgeous, and both single battle it out in court. Audrey is edgy and uptight, a perfectionist, while Dan is more the sloppy, debonair, intuitive type. Ultimately get romantic about each other.

Attraction is a special quality in a person that inspires fascination in others. It is a characteristic that provides pleasure and attracts. For Example, "flowers are an attractor for bees". This can be cultivated. You can create positive vibrations that seem to come from and surround your person. Once these attractions are cultivated, you begin to exercise stimulus on others. According to Dr. Albert points out even standing in a room as attraction criteria. "Where you are in a room (and what you're doing) has a lot to do with your ability to attract." Thus be in center to be attracted. Anyway there are lots of things to learn about attraction.

"He is greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own" said Henry Ward Beecher.

Being Attracted

Attraction is an attention, affection and respect. To get success in attracting others including attention, affection and respect, you can walk on following ways.

Like attracts like
"There is a law of attraction", says Norman Peale "Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together". If you like or love someone then only expect someone to like you.

Giving is virtue. Don’t count it.
God loves a cheerful giver. It is more blessed to give rather than to receive. Let your heart shares what you have with others. In society people give or donate to show or represent their egos. Giving is most positive feeling. Give without expecting anything in return. It is not necessary to give big things only. This feeling comes from heart and only that make you pleasant.

Live out Humility
"Humility is not renunciation of pride but the substitution one pride for another", suggested Eric Hoffman. Charity, tolerance and humility have supreme value. Humility and inner peace go hand in hand. Believe in self rather proving to others. While cultivating humility stop ego which is nearest factor in this process.

Purity
"Faith attracts the heart," says Scheeben. Faith and patience are pre-condition of attraction or being attracted.

Saw The Desired
What we tell ourselves about our lives and ourselves day after day has a great effect. All the time, see and think of yourself as and attractive personality’. Keep the image of it clearly before the mind. You will then attract all the things necessary to accomplish it. Be cheerful and hopeful no matter is positive.

Cheerful Face
Laughter is great wealth. Get your face cheerful. When you smile your brain puts into action the ‘endorphins’ – the natural pain relieving system of the body. Other than that, smile relaxes you. A smile wins friends. Give it freely to people. Andre Crippa says, "We do not completely love those at whom we cannot smile." It pleases others and also lifts your own spirit. While attracting others keep in mind that a smile makes the distance among two people shortest.

Enthusiasm & Passion
It is mother of success. It brings money, power and influence. Ralph Emerson says "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Then how is it possible to attract without enthusiasm. Believe in your work. Love your every job you do. Get enthusiasm into your personality. Do not hold back because of feeling unsure about projecting enthusiasm. Enthusiasm can do wonders for you.

Manners
Good behavior, courtesy and kindness make others to believe in you. A good manner is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. – Jonathan Swift. It is a source of pleasure. It secures all the honors. Manner is not limited to only few people. Behave to everyone as if you were with great guest.

Control
"The senses have been conditioned by attraction to the pleasant and aversion to the unpleasant: a man should not be ruled by them; they are obstacles in his path." - Bhagavad Gita . Attraction develops into desire and desire breeds anger. Controlling attraction or being attracted above par is necessary.

Probably theory of attraction will clarify our sights to follow up true attraction.

Theory of Attraction

Attraction Theory is defined as the theory concerned with the process involved in attributing causation or motivation to a person's behavior. Why are we attracted to certain individuals and not others? Many scholars believe attraction is based on people who are more similar to us. "Reinforcement and attraction are positively correlated, the more reinforcement one gets, the more attraction one feels" (Byrne, 1967). Attraction is based on three major factors (see DeVito, 1998):

Attractiveness - Mans personal qualities and woman’s physical attractiveness are more common factors of attraction.

Proximity – "The people who become friends (or more) were those who had the greatest opportunity to interact" says DeVito.

Similarity - Perceived similarity is the degree to which we believe another's characteristics are similar to ours- is often sufficient to attract us to others" says Infate.

Try it. Follow anything that is good! However I hope I did it. What? Attraction!

Further Readings

How to attract people? By Lion A.R. Shantilal Nahar

Tips for Singles Interested-

in Free Online Dating

Here is some advice when considering free online dating sites.
Free online dating is a cheap and efficient way of meeting singles in today's world. The average amount of money that is spent on one real life date is about fifty dollars. To some that is just plain crazy, that is why free online dating is so popular. There are numerous sites that do not charge for their dating services and some that do. Today we'll discuss what to look out for when searching for the perfect free dating site.

When searching for a free dating site you might come across the big name dating sites that say their services are free when in reality they're not. Double check if these sites are really free in their About Us section of their site, here you will usually get the nitty gritty. This way you will not waste your time in filling out a profile and then get charged for using a simple feature like email. When reading the About Us section do not be fooled by their clever slogans like paying for quality online dating will result in quality experiences. This is so beyond the truth it's insane, like mentioned before there are plenty of other completely free online dating sites that have the same features or even more than these wallet pinching thieves! The moral of this first rule is this: Why join a dating site that lies to you right in the beginning?

Look out for the number of ads placed within the dating site. If you click on a free online dating site and then you see your screen become flooded with flashing ads, Get Out! These dating sites usually have all sorts of viruses and bugs that could very well harm your computer. Another example of inappropriate ad placement is this, if you decide to join a free online dating site and you're required to click on an advertisement before moving on to the next step, Get Out! No dating site should make you their slave and make them get richer and richer by annoying you with ads to click. You should enjoy your free online dating experience, you shouldn't get hassled for it.

If you do decide to join a free online dating site make sure that your privacy is kept. Meaning this, usually when you fill out a dating profile you're asked for your email address. After you finish completing your profile make sure you can remove your email address from the dating site's mailing list. If you cannot delete it this is normally a bad sign. Dating sites that require your email address and will not let you delete it often email you fake messages stating that someone is interested in you or something along those lines just to keep you coming back. Sometimes these dating sites sell your email address to other sites that will send you even more ridiculous emails. Again, you of all people should enjoy free online dating.

So these are the first three things to look out for when considering free online dating. Don't be discouraged when reading these tips, there are plenty of trustworthy dating sites on the web. Just be smart and know what to watch out for when filling in your personal information.
A Friendly and Free Online Dating
100% free online dating

By April Wu
Published: 11/20/2008

Dating with Intentions

Dating with Intentions

We all date with intentions. What are they, and are some better than others?
Dating with Intentions
Everyone has a reason for dating. Not everyone has the same intentions for dating. I guess it depends on the person, but some reasons for dating have got to be better than others. Let us take a look at some major reasons why people go out together.

The Heart of Dating Intentions

Companionship. Everyone needs someone. No matter how much some people try to deny they need to have someone to love them and someone to love back, it’s true. Human interaction is normal, healthy and natural. Having a relationship with someone is an extremely meaningful experience. People who date for this reason aren’t in denial about their needs as a human being with a heart.

Sex. There are people who date just for sex. Sometimes people, particularly women, desire intimacy strongly and think sex is the way to get it. It is the very closest you can get to a person physically and spiritually. The other realms of closeness, emotional and intellectual, may or not be there. If sex is the only intent, chances are these important elements will not be there. Men want intimacy, too. There is something that this physical act does to men that makes them feel…more like a man, I suppose. I do believe that sex addiction or dating with intent of ‘the hook up’ alone is a sign of a low self esteem or a distorted view of what a healthy relationship is.

Experience. Many pre-teens and teens just want to know what it’s like. While this is a healthy curiosity, it is important not to rush through these precious moments of life. Hanging out, holding hands, and kissing are so exciting to experience for the first time. A more reserved approach is a wiser way to go with this intention. Dating just because you can or want to isn’t a good reason. At least decide on a decent person to date first, which should take some time. Starting too early can either lead to a countless number of heartbreaks, or one or two incredibly, excruciatingly painful heart aches. There is no specific age that is a good time to start, but if you want it so bad that you will date almost anyone for the ‘experience,’ you aren’t ready for it.

Marriage. A majority of people would eventually like to settle down. Some girls dream about the perfect man for them and hope the first ‘true love’ is the one they marry. Others take their time and shop around, but then settle down later. There are many people who are afraid of this intention, and would rather just ‘see where it goes.’ I think it is important to consider the possibility, but not be too anxious about selecting a mate. If there is no possibility of marrying the one you are dating, and you know this for sure, it is probably better to end it early. It could save the heart ache of dragging on a pointless relationship that will just be destined to end. Otherwise, take it slowly and ‘see where it goes.’

A Word to the Wise

There are many more intentions out there, some good and some bad. I think we can talk about dating intentions in general now.

Don’t take dating too lightly. If you are in the dating game just for the fun of it, be careful. Make sure that your intentions are clear to the person, or people, that you are dating from the beginning. Pretending to really love someone and claim you want to be with them forever isn’t something to fake. If you just want to have fun, then say so. Don’t lead anyone on. Also, to safeguard your own heart, don’t get too intimate if you are dating more than one person, or aren’t looking for commitment. The human heart can only handle just but so much intimacy, and you could wear yourself too thin to ever have one, deep, truly meaningful relationship.

Don’t take dating too seriously. You can’t expect, or demand, to know everything about someone in a short amount of time so you can decide to marry them or not. Focus on developing a meaningful friendship as well as romance. If you are happy with them, you will know it. Another mistake some people make, particularly women, is reading into everything they say or do. For example, if they forget something that you think is special, it doesn’t always mean they don’t care. A fight is not the end of the world, and no one is perfect. Try not to make wedding plans after the third date. Infatuation can last up to three years, so you ought to wait until you have a genuine desire to be together, fluffy feelings aside. Warm fuzzies in your heart doesn’t mean they are the right one for you. Get to know them for real, and don’t be afraid to let them go if it’s not right.

Are some intentions better than others? That is up to you to decide.

By Chesley Maldonado
Published: 5/31/2007